Hi there Suzanne,
in my case the separation was a good thing, it gave me and my wife a chance to get our heads sorted or at least some space to think. I would have only become more uncaring if she kept putting up with my attitude and cruelness. A lot of the times I didn't even realize what a terrible thing I had said or the way I had said it, on the other hand there were times I really went all the way to hurt her feelings and I didn't care or I may have even enjoyed doing it because of the cruel and sadistic way my mind had grown.
The vivid dreams that occur are so bad that sometimes you can't distinguish what happened in them from real life, I have on many occasions mentioned to people about something in a conversation that we have had, that conversation never ever took place in the real world! The dreams were always of a negative nature and you would get out of bed in the morning just as tired as you were the night before.
I would be lying if I said that suicide had not crossed my mind, like many other statin users it has, but thinking about my granddaughter overcomes that moment of despair and keeps me going. The amount of emotional conflicts that this poison creates is obscene, the jealousy, rage, suicidal thoughts and paranoia together with brain fog and everything else makes you wonder why this stuff is still in use today!
Suzanne,
I hope you mange to get your husband off the booze and of course the Statins. As you will have read in various posts, his reactions are quite common and now you are aware of the Statin problem, you can help to stop it getting worse by stopping them. Once your husband knows what has turned him and many others into monsters like I was and still am at times, then he can turn his frustration towards the cause and try to turn his life around.
It does take time and maybe you two will work things out, your decision to swim was realistically the only way you could go as staying together by the sounds of it would have killed any chance of normality for both of you. I hope you two become stronger together as you face this problem head on, at least now you know the demon that changed everything in your life, and having a name for it makes one hell of a difference.
I wish both of you the very best, the first step has already been taken as you are now aware of the cause.
Bye for now,
Allen.
![Smile :-)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)